Hiring a Freelancer? Think Twice, Thrice, errr… Fourice?

Alright freelancers, you might want to pelt me with tomatoes and I do apologise. Let me disclaim myself before the tomatoes stain my clothes – this article is not representative of ALL freelancers (just most…!)

I got it off NetBusinessBlog and thought this was quite funny (though it won’t be so funny when it happens to you…

1. My Hard Drive Fried It’s a fact that hard drives do actually fry *sometimes*, but how is it that your average freelancer manages to lose 5-10 hard drives a year? Seems a little sketchy eh? I’ve had 5 computers over the last 7 years, and I’m still using the hard drive in my first one as a storage mule. None of them have fried yet. That might be partially because I don’t use a Mac, but I’m sure it’s not an abnormal situation.

2. My Grandmother Died It’s always sad when there is a death in the family, and I’m not trying to say that everytime a freelancer tells you someone has passed away that they’re lying. But how odd is it that almost everytime there is a death in the developer’s family (usually toward the deadline) it is 9 times out of 10 the grandmother? I think it’s because they would feel too bad lying about their parents or siblings dying, so they settle on the grandmother. There’s also less questions asked if one thinks an elderly person has died.

3. I Crashed My Car Ever wonder why car insurance was so expensive (especially for young males)? It’s because of freelancers. They crash their cars more than any other group of people I know. What makes it worse is when the laptop is in the car too! Double whammy.

4. My E-mail / IM Isn’t Working Whether it’s the mail server going down or some odd (and totally unique) AIM bug, freelancers tend to have a huge problem keeping their communications software up and running.

5. Oh, You Didn’t Already Get the Mockup? Whenever the client asks what’s taking so long on the mockup, a great response is always “Oh, you didn’t already get the mockup?â€? It makes it seem like you already sent it but those wacky interwebs messed it up somehow. Then you can follow it up with something like “Okay well I’ll get it to you ASAP!â€? giving you enough time to open Photoshop and make a lame attempt at a mockup.

6. It’s Passover This excuse is great, but then you also have to keep pretending you’re Jewish. You also run the risk of having your client be Jewish which opens the door for idle religious conversation, which could get you into trouble. It also only works during Passover (unless your client has no idea when Passover is).

7. I Sprained My Wrist(s) Yea I’ve actually had someone tell me they sprained BOTH of their wrists while typing. Not kidding.

There you have it, the Top 7 Most Common Freelancer Excuses. Now you don’t have to wonder if you hear something that sounds a bit odd from your web developer. If it’s on this list it’s (probably) an excuse. You can thank me later.